Top 10: An Ode To The Weirdoes

Happy April, friends! I’ve been a bit preoccupied with James & the Giant Peach rehearsals lately, so I’ve been neglecting my blog duties and my readers (both of them). To make my absence up to (both of) you, I’m gonna talk about something fun that we can all relate to: dysfunction!

What’s more validating than flipping the channel onto COPS or walking into a Walmart, watching the bong water of society just doing their thing, and realizing that (in comparison) you have your shit relatively together after all! But then again, a little quirk never hurt anybody. I almost pity people who strive to be perfectly normal.  For some reason, I have a slight fascination, soft spot, penchant, affinity – whatever you want to call it – for complex characters. Y’know, characters that seem to be a little sideways, mad, askew, abnormal, even unstable. I’m not saying that I want to hang out with these characters (or maybe I do…), but I often find the stories of not-exactly-normal characters to be far more interesting than your average, normal ones. I mean, what sounds more fun? Barber plots revenge, or Barber plots revenge while murdering people and baking them in pies in the meantime?  And dysfunction comes in many shapes and sizes, so there’s plenty of room for varying degrees of abnormality.

I present (in no particular order) an ode to the weirdoes in this Top 10 List of Dysfunctional Characters:

1. Judge Turpin – Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Basically everyone in this show qualifies as “Pretty Darn Dysfunctional,” but none more than Judge Turpin. I had initially selected Sweeney Todd (aka Benjamin Barker) himself for this Top Ten, but the more I thought about it, Sweeney isn’t technically dysfunctional. Sociopathic? Yes. Twisted? Hells yeah! Creative? Absolutely! He disposes of his victims by baking them into pies for Pete’s sake! But dysfunctional? Not really. He seems to function pretty well in society. He’s just been dealt the shittiest hand ever and he simply snapped… really snapped.  The poor man was transported to friggin’ Australia on trumped-up charges because Turpin had a jones for the lovely Mrs. Barker. Upon returning to London, he finds that Turpin has since duped and raped Barker’s wife (who later poisoned herself and is now presumed dead) and has been raising his daughter, Johanna, as his ward for the last 15 years.  Jerkin’ Turpin often takes to creepily ogling the teenaged Johanna through keyholes while self-flagellating.  To get around these impure thoughts, Turpin (who can’t be a day under 104) decides to marry Johanna (who can’t be a day over 16) so he can ogle her guilt free! Just to clarify: he’s totally cool with falsifying felony charges on private citizens, raping and discarding another dude’s woman, technically kidnapping infants, voyeurism on teenaged girls, and marrying minors (without asking). But you better punish the ever-livin’ crap out of yourself if you lust after a nubile young lady that isn’t your wife (because, y’know, God commands us to quash that kind of sinful crap). And when he catches some ballad-singing sailor checking her out, he does the only logical thing: he commits her to an insane asylum.  I gotta say this shitbag of a lord justice seems way more dysfunctional than some shafted barber in need of therapy, don’t ya think?

2. The Goodman Family – Next To Normal

Next to Normal was a really tough show to watch. It portrays a woman with real psychotic issues who is mentally unable to cope with life after a devastating trauma.  This is a family that defines “dysfunction”. Suburbia ain’t all it’s cracked up to be for Diana (mother), Dan (father), and Natalie (daughter). Diana suffers from manic episodes, chronic depression, hallucinations/delusions, and bipolar disorder; not to mention suicide attempts, way too many pills, ECT therapy, and *spoiler alert!* conversing with her son who died in infancy 16 years ago but she sees him as a grown teenager. Once a bright, young architecture undergrad, Diana became unable to cope with everyday life after the tragic death of her infant son. She could no longer drive, hold a job, make lunch for her family, or even hold her second baby in the hospital. Yeah, the mom’s the one with the real problems, but her issues drastically ripple into her husband’s and daughter’s lives too. Dan spends the majority of the show trying to be strong and stable for his wife. He’s exhausted and frustrated from enduring every psychotic ordeal beside her, but he’s always there to catch her.  He’s hopeful, optimistic, and never admits his severe depression and that he needs help too until the very end. Natalie, though high-achieving and anticipating a promising post-high school future, grapples with making sense of her desperately dysfunctional family. Her whole life has been shadowed and tainted by her mother’s illness.  She resents Diana for occupying herself with a hero of a son that doesn’t exist over her real, living child. She has small stint of drug experimentation (i.e. taking her mother’s discarded pills) to try and numb the pain she feels. Though she fears that she might end up “crazy” too, she finds comfort in her unbelievably understanding boyfriend, who doesn’t seem the least bit frightened by Natalie’s personal demons (and they are pretty frightening). This is not the kind crazy I would wish for/on anyone. This is perpetual hurting and haunting dysfunction that sees very little happiness… But they try anyway. So kudos!

3. Big & Little Edie Beale – Grey Gardens

Your great-grandmother with dementia ain’t got nuthin’ on these two daffy broads! These ladies are probably equivalent to what would happen if you gave a Hamptons mansion to that crazy shopping cart lady who talks to herself on the corner and yells incoherently at people within 50 yards of her.  “Big Edie” and “Little Edie” Bouvier (yeah, that Bouvier) Beale begin Act I as disgustingly rich, glittering, mother-daughter socialites in 1941. Act II fast forwards to 1973, where they have (inexplicably) become richly disgusting, nutty, mother-daughter hermits, living in total squalor.  Their now-decrepit titular mansion is overrun by feral cats, racoons (and a possum or two), fleas, human waste, and 1,000 bags worth of garbage (literally! Jackie Kennedy Onassis eventually paid to have the house cleaned up and the trash removed); violating countless health code regulations. Mother and daughter bicker about men, marriage prospects, independence, and corn (there’s actually a song that’s called “Jerry Likes My Corn” and it’s as dumb as it sounds). I saw this musical at the Players Club of Swarthmore and found it kind of odd; and not just because of the odd subject matter.  The musical never really touches on how or why these women decayed into the eccentric, impoverished weirdoes they are in Act II.  They just kind of assume that we know (there was a house theft while both women were out one night and they left the house less frequently after that. One thing led to another…). It also doesn’t explain why Little Edie started wearing sweaters on her head (she had alopecia totalis).  Whatever… I’m just gonna walk on the other side of the street and hope the men in white scrubs find them before they frighten some small children or something…

4. Norma Desmond – Sunset Boulevard

Norma Desmond, famed star of the silent film era, is your “Pissed Off Diva” type of dysfunctional (my personal favorite). She’s pretty functional in most other aspects of life, except for the belief that she’s still the bees knees to the rest of the world… and f*ck anyone who says otherwise! She’s also a tad suicidal, so she is a little on the unstable side. Like the Beales, she lives (almost) alone in a friggin’ huge mansion, but she hasn’t let it go to shit like the Beales and the only animal she keeps around is a chimp (which is dead and buried before we ever get to meet it). She has more money than Bill Gates (adjusted for inflation and spends it like . She’s middle-aged and showing it, but still plans on playing the 16 year-old ingénue (kinda like Madonna in Evita) in a movie she wrote a crappy script for. Everybody’s pretty much forgotten about her after her career died 20-30 years ago (like Andie McDowell or Eddie Murphy), but she still thinks she’s Jennifer Lawrence. She takes on a broke writer as her editor-slash-gigolo and *spoiler alert!* ends up killing him and having a massive mental breakdown when he shatters her “I’m still famous” fantasy and tries to walk out on her.  I like to think there’s a little Norma Desmond in all of us… at least all of us who do some degree of performing arts. No matter how flexible or easygoing or pleasant we may seem, we’re all spoiled, spiteful little bitch divas at heart. I think some are just better at hiding it than others… And anyone who says they aren’t is a dirty liar. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve practiced my Tony Award speech in the shower or silently shouted at a director “I AM THE GREATEST F*CKING STAR EVER!! WORSHIP ME, DAMNIT!!!” I can relate, Norma. I can relate.

5. Rose - Gypsy

Madame Rose isn’t exactly dysfunctional; she’s just fracking crazy with dysfunctional standards.  She is the ultimate stage parent who lives her dream life of stardom vicariously through her two daughters. Chief NY Times theatre critic, Ben Brantley has described Rose as "an armored tank on autopilot, which finally crashes only minutes before the final curtain.” Truth, Brantley. Truth. Over the course of her adult life, Rose drives away three husbands, her current boyfriend/agent, all the backup dancers in her daughters’ act, and one of her two children (the other one almost gets away too, but they hug it out before it’s too late) with her relentless ambition and makes absolutely no apologies. She takes her failed dreams that never came true and relays them to her daughters as actual dreams she’d had the previous night. She’s so starved for praise and approval that she smothers and presses all she has and wants on to her embittered children. Kinda sucky, right?

6. Don Quixote – Man Of La Mancha

Alonso Quijana, an impressionable old man who has read way too many books of chivalry has lost his mind and now believes that he should go a-questing as the knight-errant, Don Quixote de la Mancha. This poor dude’s living in a dream world. He gets into fights with windmills (they were GIANTS!), steals shaving basins to serve as headgear, and reimagines seedy prostitutes as noble ladies. Needless to say, he’s flat out nutty.  Luckily, he’s not one of those characters who snaps and goes postal. He actually goes the opposite way and embarks on a quest to battle injustice. Good for him. I find myself able to forgive this guy for all his weirdness because of the sheer awesomeness of the show’s songs. Seriously, have a listen to Brian Stokes Mitchell crushing “The Impossible Dream” and tell me you don’t believe in miracles…

7. The Phantom – Phantom of the Opera

The Phantom is your “Creepy, My-Parents-Didn’t-Love-Me Stalker” dysfunctional. I can’t begin to count the number of things wrong with this guy (I lightly touched on this in a previous article). I mean it’s not entirely his fault. The Paris Opera house lets him get away with SO much crap, no wonder he runs roughshod over everybody! Some people are on Team Raoul. Some people are on Team Phantom. I am personally on Team Raoul because I will not root for a team that permits elaborate kidnappings, hypnosis, manipulation, and/or murder in the name of love. That is not love, my friends. That’s just sick. Besides, how well does the Phantom know this broad anyway? Yeah, she’s hot and she’s got a beautiful voice, but that’s not adequate grounds for a relationship! I don’t care how much Josh Groban’s voice stimulates my femininity, I’m not gonna build fake mirrors in his bedroom that lead to a secret lair where I seduce him while playing a ginormous pipe organ (or maybe I will…). And can you imagine the number of health and building codes this guy is violating?! He’s got a friggin’ lake with a boat, more candles than a vigil at Vatican City, a Christine Daae shrine, and that ginormous pipe organ underneath the Paris Opera House (really? NO ONE heard/noticed all that down there?)! I’ll bet he’s not in the musicians’ union either. And don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m hideous” card he constantly plays. I don’t fear and reject you because you’re face is grotesque; I fear and reject you cuz I don’t want you stalking me or trying to kill my boyfriend! First of all, you’ve got a badass mask and a cape, so stop complaining. That almost makes up for your face entirely. Secondly, so what if half your face is gnarly? Have you seen Sarah JessicaParker’s face? She starred in a super popular TV show and was a child star, so you’ve got no excuse, my insecure friend!

8. Javert – Les Misérables

Obsessed is too small a word for Javert. He is of the belief that the law is infallible and lawbreakers are incapable of redemption. Now that’s a perfectly acceptable – though somewhat extreme – point of view to have. But this guy spends 15 years relentlessly chasing after a man who not only did the time for his crime (and then some) AND managed to turn his life around.  And it doesn’t matter the size of the crime. Valjean stole a loaf of bread to feed his starving nephew and gets sentenced to 19 years. So the French system of justice seems pretty faulty to begin with.  Javert forgoes a family/social/home life and every other lawbreaker in France to harangue and harass one single dude who actually reformed himself. I immensely respect his integrity, discipline, and dedication to the law. But he doesn’t grasp or accept the concept that humanity is a flexible beast with a lot of gray areas. Criminals can change and laws can be bent. When Jean Valjean shows unprecedented mercy, even after being put through hell by his overblown shenanigans, Javert’s mind is blown.  He realizes that his idea of the justice that he has followed and invested into his entire life is severely skewed. He’s so conflicted over this understanding that he commits suicide. He’s been chasing after some boogieman that doesn’t exist for 15 years. It’s kinda tragic, but I can only sympathize so much cuz that is NO way to live! The only person more dysfunctional is the guy who cast Russell Crowe to play the character in the film version.

9. Fosca – Passion

Not many people are familiar with Passion or the character of Focsa.  But those who are familiar tend not to side with her. She is, for lack of a better word, pathetic. The sickly, self-deprecating cousin of an outpost army colonel falls for the handsome captain, Giorgio, about 47 seconds after meeting him.  When she is able to go five minutes without having a convulsive nervous breakdown, she can be found brazenly throwing herself at him. She obsessively follows him around, whines about her inability to have love or live a normal life, and even asks him to dictate a fantasy letter from himself for her. Though he repeatedly assures her that she is to remain firmly in the friend zone (because he’s downright repulsed by her), she insists that she is unable to stop stalking him because “loving you is not a choice.”  Honey, that’s not right. I’m sorry you’re extremely ill and lonely, but why drag the man you love (against his will) through that shitstorm with you? I don’t even want my loved ones around me when I’m hormonal so they don’t have to suffer too. Yet here she is in a fabricated affair, torturing this poor man who’s initially in a relationship with someone else. Haven’t you ever heard “if you love something, set it free”?  Cuz if you strangle and smother it the way you’ve been doing, you’re gonna kill it! Audiences were so repulsed by Fosca that during one performance, someone yelled, “Die, Fosca! Die!” when she was having one of her meltdowns.  But judge for yourselves! The whole thing is on YouTube! At least the score’s amazing (as always, Mr. Sondheim. As always).

10. The Cast of Assassins – Assassins

This one’s kind of self-explanatory. Anyone who makes an attempt on the life of a nation’s leader to impress Jodie Foster has a few major screws loose. If the title isn’t explanation enough, Assassins examines the views and “motivations” of several men and women who attempted (successfully or not) to assassinate a United States president. The show actually focuses very little on the act of assassination and primarily on their pre or post assassination activity. They converse with each other, explain their motives (it makes sense to them), and assert the importance of the American Dream. They speculate the simplicity of shooting a gun and the complexity of its consequences. They send tape recordings to Leonard Bernstein, campaign to be the French Ambassador, and eat KFC. The weird thing is that this show makes these murderous, mentally imbalanced nut jobs somehow very endearing. You’re obviously not questioning their lack of sanity or morals, because they’re sick, twisted people. But like Sweeney Todd, these characters are given souls and personalities on stage that make them appealing, funny, fleshed-out beings instead of just a mug shot you see on TV.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: Ameselle’s Top Ten Broadway Nut Jobs. Agree? Disagree? I know my dad was toying with the notion of disowning me for not putting Sweeney Todd on the list.  What do you think?

Honorable Mentions:

Dr. Orin Scrivello, D.D.S – Little Shop of Horrors

Judd Fry – Oklahoma

Jekyll/Hyde – Jekyll & Hyde

Wonderful Town - The College Edition!

At the recent urging of my frequent Broadway Viewing Buddy (a.k.a. “Dad”), I will be discussing a lovely little show that I just had the pleasure of attending. Ursinus College’s very well-received and well-executed production of Wonderful Town closed last Sunday, so you just missed it!

Wonderful Town

Music: Leonard Bernstein

Lyrics: Betty Comden & Adolph Green

Book: Joseph A. Fields & Jerome Chodorov

Based On: Ruth McKenney’s The New Yorker-published collection of autobiographical short stories; Fields's & Chodorov's resulting play, My Sister Eileen

Broadway Debut: 1953

Tony Nominations/Wins: 5/5!

Wonderful Town follows two sisters from Columbus, Ohio – sharp, witty Ruth and vivacious, blonde (and not Irish) Eileen – pursuing writing and acting careers, respectively, in New York City. They arrive awestruck and immediately acquire lodgings in a most undesirable basement apartment; featuring a “loveable” landlord, “customers” of the room’s former tenant, Violet, and frequent dynamite blasts from the new subway construction mere feet below them. They battle early onset homesickness and make the best of things. Ruth makes the rounds with her stories while Eileen gets free lunches from a smitten Walgreens manager. They chase their dreams and find love while weaving through the lives of other Christopher Street inhabitants: living-in-sin neighbors Helen and the Wreck; sleazy-but-ultimately-redeemed  newspaperman, Chick Clark; Village Vortex nightclub owner, Speedy Valenti (where they each find some amount of success); magazine editor, Bob Baker; some Brazillian Navy cadets with a penchant for the “Conga”; and a slew of Irish cops with a penchant for Eileen.

This musical is a true ode to everything that is the Big Apple. It centers on everything “wonderful” about NYC and what can happen when you venture there to find life and love. It can harden you and make you long for simplicity, but the beat and vibrant energy of the city can also invigorate you and present new things every day. The ambiance and feel of Wonderful Town is upbeat and brightly-colored, but I wouldn’t necessarily call it a fluff musical (like 42^nd St. or Anything Goes). The songs may not be as recognizable or gritty as others composed by the great Leonard Bernstein. But his score is full of intricate nuances that reflect the overwhelming blur that is NYC. Its unevenness and hectic hustle illustrate a sophistication that surpasses “fluff” musical composition.  I’m not trashing Anything Goes, but the wit is more in the lyrics (Cole Porter’s specialty) with an accompanying snappy tune that takes a back seat to the words instead of the other way around. Bernstein’s style of composition is complex and really sets the mood for the piece (much like Sondheim) and Wonderful Town is no exception.

Ursinus College’s recent production was quite a refreshing thing to see: young people taking a period piece and not only understanding such a bygone bit of American History, but also immersing into that time period and making it believable for audiences. I so often see performances where it looks like the actors are just playing dress-up in front of a period backdrop. But these kids had very little backdrop to play off of (I’m guessing they spent most of their budget on the costumes, which were really good for a college production!). They really invested in the time period they were portraying and it actually looked like they belonged there. Looking comfortable in a time, place, and way of life different from yours is not an easy thing for anyone to accomplish, so it’s especially exciting to see such young performers tackle it like champs. In a world where bigger, faster, shinier reigns supreme, it does an old soul like me good to see young people respecting and working to uphold the significance of a time that is not their own. Bravo, you young whippersnappers!

Something Wonderful - It's good to be The King

My last post was a Top 10 list (in no particular order of preference) of my personal favorite Broadway love songs, in honor of Valentine’s Day. Feel free to go back and have a listen. I’ll wait…

Welcome back! Today, we’re going to discuss the musical that featured song #7 on that list (“Something Wonderful,” for those of you who didn’t feel like having a listen): The King & I.

 

The King & I

Music: Richard Rogers

Lyrics: Oscar Hammerstein II

Based On: Margaret Landon novel, Anna and the King of Siam

Broadway Debut: 1951

Tony Nominations/Wins: 5/5

I’ve been thinking about “Something Wonderful” for a while now. It’s not one of those songs about loving someone even though they drink or beat you… or both (i.e. “What’s The Use Of Wond’rin’”, “As Long As He Needs Me”, “Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man”). It’s more than being a powerless slave to love, despite the man’s shortcomings. This is a song in which the singer loves a man for all the good he’s capable of if he has the right kind of help. At one point, Lady Thiang says, “I am not equal to his special needs.” She is filled with borderline sorrow over not being able to adequately support her conflicted husband, who is flawed beyond mere infidelity (though the guy does have a plethora of wives). She sings about loving a man who needs patience, understanding, brutal honesty, and an ego stroke all at the same time to succeed which she pleads for Anna to give him since she herself cannot. The King is doing very important things and making very important decisions to balance the eastern and western influences in his country and help his people thrive. He was raised on ancient traditions and cultures that demand he show no vulnerability whatsoever. He simultaneously needs to make way for modern advances to prove his prowess and compatibility to the rest of the world while not forcing his nation to adopt change too quickly.  Lady Thiang understands this, but can only watch from the sidelines while he and Anna work it out together.

The King & I raises a lot of fascinating interpersonal commentary in just 3 hours, particularly from the King of Siam (the real King Mongkut was actually pretty fascinating too, but more about him later). At first glance, the King comes across as an obstinate, vain, bully. Then the brilliant songs start and we are plunged into the abyss of the human condition.  The King is aware of the monumental burdens he must shoulder. In “Is A Puzzlement,” he feels extreme conflict about his uncertainty in fields that he believes he should have a firm grip on (since he’s king and all); like what values to instill in his eldest son that will make him a fair, yet dynamic king (and human being) his people will follow.  He grapples with maintaining his country’s traditional eastern identity and monarch-headed system of government while embracing the modern, western cultural influences that will assure his country remain a competitive force among the civilized nations of the world. This conflict eventually gets the best of him.  Anna’s influence strips him of his previous sense of self and throws him into an even bigger pit of conflict and moral pressure. He hands his beloved monarchy over to his son, who begins making big, modern changes for the kingdom, and (**SPOILER ALERT**) dies. It may be good to be the king, but it sure ain’t easy!

On a personal level, the King is a stern disciplinarian with his wives and children. But in “March ofthe Siamese Children,” he is clearly also a loving father. He exerts austerity because he cares about their future and wants them to be educated.  But he shows signs of softness, particularly towards the younger ones. He views his wives as subservient, demure beings, meant to do his bidding. When he first hires Anna, a woman, to teach his family, he expects her to be similar to the other women he’s grown accustomed to in his life. She blows his mind with her intellect and contending demeanor. This eventually grows into a mutual respect and a deep, unspoken love. She becomes what none of his wives, including Lady Thiang, could ever be: an equal confidante. They may butt heads in the beginning; a result of the eastern and western culture (and gender) clash, but once they let each other in emotionally and embrace each other’s positive cultural and personal attributes, they are able make beautiful music together.

Fun Facts:

The real Anna Leonowens was actually Eurasian! She told people she was of Welsh descent to explain her darker skin color. This fact wasn’t discovered until after The King & I was written.

When Gertrude Lawrence (the original Anna on Broadway) died, she was buried in her 75 pound “Shall We Dance?” ball gown.

The real King Mongkut was highly accomplished in his own right: before succeeding his older brother as king, he was a Buddhist monk (and founded a reform order of Buddhism), a multi-lingual scholar, a mathematician, an astronomer, and he set up Siam's first printing press, to print in both English and Siamese… And I thought Yul Brynner was a badass! 

A Belated Valentine's Day Top 10

Ah, Valentine's Day. That special day of unbridled romance, chocolates, fancy dinners, Durex, price-hiked flowers, and probably some disappointment.

....And romantic music!!! What better gets us in the mood than some Marvin Gaye or some Righteous Brothers, stimulating our sex organs into a pottery-spinning frenzy?! What makes our hearts soar and eyes tear up better than a song proclaiming everlasting love and devotion? I'd like to commemorate this Valentine's Day with MY Top 10 favorite musical love songs.

The world's general top three favorites seem to be "If I Loved You", "All I Ask Of You", and "Some Enchanted Evening" (this one actually made my list). "If I Loved You"is a truly beautiful and heartfelt song, but I think it's too timid for Valentine's Day. I need a love song that screams of love from the rooftops. "If I Loved You" is all about what you would say if you were brave enough to say it (a cop out in my opinion). "All I Ask Of You" is also a beautiful song, with even more beautiful music. But in the context of the show, I think Raoul is more about comforting and assuring Christine's protection, who is so vulnerable, she enlists Raoul as her personal bodyguard-slash-boyfriend for the rest of time.  I think at this point in the show (if they were smart), they should be talking about searching the opera house for that stalker guy in a mask who murdered that poor stagehand about five minutes ago (and maybe getting Christine some therapy for her Stockholm Syndrome). But no, you're just gonna sit on the roof and proclaim your love for each other. Good for you.

You're even more beautiful up close than when I stare at your through the trick mirror!

I'm going against the grain and making a (short) case for each of my selections, for I believe they contain some of the most romantic, sentimental, schmaltzy, beautiful lyrics and/or music to ever grace a Broadway love song. So allow me to present (in no particular order of preference, just alphabetical) my 2014 Top 10 Favorite Broadway Love Songs:


1. How Could I Ever Know? - Secret Garden

In this gut-wrencher of a song, long-suffering widow, Archibald Craven (played by the am-AH-zing Mandy Patinkin) is visited by his deceased wife, Lily. She apologizes for the pain he's endured from her death and encourages him to stop mourning her and be a presence in their son's life. I mean, of course it's not her fault she's dead, so she doesn't really have any reason to be apologetic!  But to cross back over into the world of the living to help your husband move on after tragically losing you?  That's love, man...

2. Love Can't Happen - Grand Hotel

I never personally believed in the concept of "love at first sight." But Brent Barrett makes me want to be a believer!  Barrett's character, Baron Felix, meets an aging ballerina while attempting to rob her hotel room and "loses himself completely." The sweeping score and climactic belting turn me into a swooning mess of estrogen.

3. Love Song - Pippin

I'm a tad obsessed with this song at the moment. Pippin was the most recent show I've seen (technically Chicago was the most recent, but they were on the same day), so it's still fresh in my mind. There's nothing dramatic or grand about this song. But I think it's a very sweet, intimate song that magnifies the importance of all the "little things" that make a relationship special.

4. Not A Day Goes By - Merrily We Roll Along

I know this song's about a breakup, but you can't appreciate happiness without a little sadness. Even after a relationship ends, the love doesn't necessarily end, as much as you may want it to. In the misunderstood flop, Merrily We Roll Along, the done-wrong wife sings of how her two-timing husband is still in her mind and her heart. Here, the queen of the heart-wrench, Bernadette Peters practically crushes her own soul on stage for the sake of our earballs' entertainment. Bless you, Bernadette!

5. Say It Somehow - Light In The Piazza
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Iob_JngT2Y
Out of my entire Top 10, I gotta say this is the song that reduces me to a blubbering mess the most (especially right when she says "I always understand"). ERMERGERRRRRD!!! It's such a passionate and pure song that breaks and transcends language barriers. Even though Fabrizio and Clara aren't able to easily articulate their feelings, they still know each other's hearts and get the message across even when words fail. Plus a little touch of looming danger at the end is always fun!

6. Some Enchanted Evening - South Pacific

I can't fight the masses completely. This song is good. Really good. Plus it never hurts when Brian Stokes Mitchell (in a tux... a white tux!) sings it. Seriously, if dark chocolate had a voice.... Such a lovely song about spotting a moment that you know is special and vowing to hold onto it.*Sigh* Good stuff.

7. Something Wonderful - The King & I

Lady Thiang pleads with "Meesus Ah-na" to assist her husband, the King, with his kingly affairs, as he is unable to tackle them on his own. I like this song because it's all about loving someone who is not just imperfect, but someone who truly requires your help to get by. It's tough enough to be in a regular, mutual relationship. But to be in love with someone with serious faults who needs you more that they realize and may or may not show appreciation for you? That's tough. And incredibly loving.

8. Song On The Sand - La Cage Aux Folles

This is a very sweet "we-stood-the-test-of-time" song. Georges recalls meeting his longtime love, Albin, how special that day was, and how their love is just as strong today.

9. The Next Ten Minutes - The Last 5 Years

The song starts out with the small request of sharing the next 10 minutes together. Then by the end of the song, he wants ten lifetimes with her. The musical follows Cathy and Jamie through their 5 year relationship: Jamie starting at the beginning and going forward, Cathy starting at the end and working back. For this one song in the show, they meet in the middle and sing together. This is the one time when they're in sync in their relationship. I think I love the harmony at the end of this song more than anything. It just screams chemistry!

10. Unexpected Song - Song & Dance

I don't know much about this show, but I do love this song.  There's nothing more exciting than new love blossoming. This song highlights every emotion, every thrill, and every butterfly just beautifully.

So there you have it folks. My Broadway Love Songs Top 10 of 2014! Agree? Disagree? Did I leave any out?  Share yours and we'll discuss!



Honorable Mentions:
The More You Ruv Someone - Avenue Q

The Song That Goes Like This - Spamalot

Touch Me - Spring Awakening (this is more of a sex song than a romantic song, but I find it pretty hot)

Songs With A Person's Name in the Title
* Johanna - Sweeney Todd
* Maria - West Side Story
* Dulcinea - Man Of La Mancha

Oh, the Negro and the Hebrew Should Be Friends! A Study of Dual Guilt, Persecution, and 11 o’ clock Numbers

DISCLAIMER: If you’re overly sensitive, this post may touch on borderline racism, so I apologize in advance.  But then again, everyone’s a little bit racist!

I was listening to XM Broadway Radio in my car the other day and before treating my eager ears to Norm Lewis nailing “Bess, You Is My Woman Now”, Seth Rudetsky (I think it was Seth) mentioned how the most soulful, memorable musical numbers sung by powerful black characters (i.e. “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going”, “I Know Where I’ve Been”, “Ol’ Man River”) are often written by old, white, Jewish men. I found this observation fascinating. It also raised a few questions:

1) How are Jews so good at writing these songs?

2) With all the persecution and hardship they have in common, why aren’t African Americans and Jews better buddies?

3) Why aren’t black people writing these songs themselves?

As a white, Jewish female, I may be biased in this study. But I’m throwing it out into the universe anyway!

1) How are Jews so good at writing these songs?

What the frak do old, white, Jewish men know about spirituals and gospel numbers?  It’s truly amazing how you get a bunch of very talented songwriters who grew up with klezmer-flavored music and Yiddish-speaking parents, yet they crank out stuff like this!

"Okay, how does this sound? '...Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high.'"

If you were lucky enough to catch WHYY’s piece on the Jewish legacy in musical theatre, it touches on how the great early 20^th century Jewish composers of the time (Berlin, the Gershwins, Hammerstein) would draw on segments of their own culture’s music and develop it into songs for musical theatre. The program also mentioned how both turn-of-the-century Jewish klezmer music and African American spirituals/folk hymns tended to be in a minor key. Songs in minor tend to have a sadder, more melancholy tone than songs written in a major key. This musical familiarity between the two made an easy transition from ‘da Blues to ‘da stage.

2) With all the persecution and hardship they have in common, why aren’t African Americans and Jews better buddies?

Pre-turn-of-the-century Jewish and African American songwriters also shared a very mutual antagonist, which clearly seeped into their cultural music: oppression, discrimination, and woe.  Who carries their ancestors’ hardships on their backs and wears it as a badge of pride better than the Jews and African Americans? You would think with the amount of slavery, persecution, culture, and misery Jews and African Americans have racked up throughout the last few centuries (not counting the extra couple thousand years the Jews have accrued), they’d have a very strong, common bond.  Instead, they seem deadlocked in a Who’s-The-Bigger-Victim pissing contest. The lack of Jewish and African American camaraderie arguably roots from several schools of thought: Ignorance, Self-importance, politics, excessive use of the race card, and flat-out racism.  Or is the thought of a mutual respect between such large groups extremely naïve? I mean, are there really any cultural partnerships like that? Or are all the world’s ethnic/racial/religious groups just locked in a collective passive-aggressive dislikefest (some less passive than others)?

"Okay, let's get Father Flanigan and walk into a bar. It'll be hilarious!"

3) Why aren’t black people writing these songs themselves?

Even if they don’t get along on an everyday basis, you’d think they’d be bosom buddies in the entertainment industry.  I get it. Broadway is primarily a white, upper-middle-class people’s game. Always has been.  The majority of African Americans would most likely rather play in oncoming traffic than sit through a musical (and pay top dollar to do it). But why is this? African Americans have made monumental contributions in entertainment, art, literature, and music.  It’s not like they don’t have a reputation for producing brilliant art. The talent’s there.  Why not bring it to the stage, where it’s truly appreciated? But now we’re back to the white people’s game.  I’ll admit it’s not historically easy to attract black theatregoers.  In recent all-or-mainly-black cast productions performed on Broadway, African American audiences were typically drawn to the star power tied to the shows (The Wiz, Oprah heavily endorsing The Color Purple, P-Diddy-or-whatever-his-name-is-now in Raisin in the Sun, James Earl Jones in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, etc.). The shows without big star power typically had less of a turnout from the black community (Passing Strange). I personally frown on most mainstream stars invading Broadway (like Disney Channel kids and American Idol runner ups and former boy band members). But if that’s what brings a more diverse crowd, I say give ‘em what they want. If that’s what brings people to the theatres and potentially inspires them to create similar work, bring it on. And if you really want to get integrated, who says typically-white characters can’t be black?  Belle was black for a while when Toni Braxton had her stint on Broadway and people loved her! I’d be very interested to see the general reaction to a black Cinderella or Galinda or Phantom! 

The early 20^th century saw a slew of successful and popular all-black productions, propelled by the Harlem Renaissance. Minstrel shows and blackface stereotypes were rejected in favor of serious, home-hitting subject matter that appealed to both black and white audiences (when they were integrated, which was a revolutionary concept, only beginning to see the light of day). African Americans used art to prove their humanity and demand for equality when it was widely denied them. The Harlem Renaissance not only led to more opportunities for blacks in white mainstream circles, but also developed a sense of ethnic pride and identity.  The explosion of culture lifted African Americans at the time to a higher, respected status.

I say we should bring that mentality and identity back. And I don’t mean Kanye or whoever rapping about the joys of being an overpaid, overdrugged, oversexed gangsta.  Even though that’s obviously what sells today, I can’t imagine that it is the only profitable subject matter in the current black music style. Look at Will Smith! While other rappers were rapping about shooting people and gangs and inflating their already astronomically-entitled egos, he rapped about how his caring mother sent him tolive away from the hard streets ofWest Philadelphia.

My point is “Thug Life” is just that: Thug Life.  They know what sells and what attracts the masses. But they’re obviously better than that.  And while I’m at it, that goes for the white people too! Some people have talent and some people have a talent for entertaining. Don’t settle for a pair of tits or a boy band haircut singing a mindless-though-catchy pop tune!  Let talent live and breathe outside the singing competition shows!  …Sorry, I digress. African Americans used to be a driving force for good in our country’s culture and on our stages.  In comparison, it’s just pandering amusement and shock value now.  I don’t see why they can’t be a force on Broadway again. I would have given my *insert sexual appendage here* to see the all-black cast rendition of Hello Dolly! (headed by Pearl Bailey).

I think musical theatre is the greatest means of creative expression in the world.  So why is it such a whitewashed institution? You see a “person of color” on or behind the scenes here and there. You see an ethnically-charged show here and there.  But why, in a community that is so outgoing and inclusive and open to diversity, is race still a hurdle?  I highly doubt Broadway is turning black artists away; I just wonder how many are showing up.  Maybe things would change if we could get Jay-Z to be in a musical…